Moving In
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: Elfman learns that living together does not come easy. Especially when there are over twenty rules attached (and counting). - One-shot.


Moving In

"How often do you do that?"

"Do what?"

He nodded over at her hands. "That."

"Get my nails done?" She glanced down at them herself. "Honestly, after every job for certain. But occasionally more frequently. Not that I see it as any of your concern-"

"I figure," Elfman began as he hauled the box up the stairs, his girlfriend following along as she carried a much smaller, lighter weight one. "That now that we're moving in together, we'll be sharing finances. And that I-"

"I never said, Elfman, anything of the sort," she told him with a frown, her glasses falling down her face some. She didn't have a free hand to push them up for once though. "I only offered to move you in here as a courtesy."

"A curtsy, huh?"

"_Cour_tesy," she corrected, still scowling. "I mean, it's unbecoming of a man of your age to be living with his sisters. I mean, what would people thing?"

"Seemed more manly to me, than unbecoming," he told her with a frown. "A man helping keep his sister's safe in a big house."

"Yes, well, no one else would see it that way, but you," she told him with a roll of her eyes. They were to her apartment door then and, after setting down her box, she was quick to open the door. "How many more boxes?"

"A few," he said, following her in. "I can't believe no one would help us move in."

"Most everyone I asked said they wouldn't help move you in if they'd just have to move you back out in a week."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, following her inside.

"It means," she started as she dropped the box on the couch, next to a few others. "That no one has faith in us living together."

"What? That's nonsense!" He was quick to set his down as well. "Real men love to live with their women!"

"What, Elfman, have I said about yelling in my apartment?" She glared at him then as she reached up to use the hair tie make a pony tail. She was getting rather sweaty just from walking up and down the stairs."Hmmm?"

"Our apartment," he corrected. As it turned out, that wasn't the right thing to do.

She narrowed her eyes at him, finally having that free hand to push her spectacles up her nose. Keeping eye contact with him, she said slowly, "_My_ apartment."

He looked off then, taking to running a hand through his hair. "Well, uh, we better get back to work, huh? Getting my stuff up here?"

It didn't end there though, moving him in didn't. Even after they had all the stuff upstairs, they had to find a place for it. It wasn't easy.

Evergreen was by no means a neat freak or a perfectionist. She did, however, have objections to Elfman just sticking any of his stuff wherever he wanted.

"Why," she began as she stood in the middle of her living room, glaring at her boyfriend, "would you ever have bought this?"

"Ah. That. I found it in a flee market," he told her, looking over from the box he was going through to grin at his prized possession. "Ain't he manly?"

"No," Evergreen said as she glanced down at the statue. It was of a bird. A huge bird. It's head came up to about her waist. And it had its head tilted back, a worm wiggling its way into the beak. It was made of what looked like some sort of ceramic or something and was completely gray in color. She hated it. She absolutely detested it. "Mira let you have this where exactly?"

"Oh, she made me keep 'im in my room," Elfman said, smiling at her. "But I figure he could go over in the corner now. Or by the bookcase. Wherever you want, really. It's up to you. I-"

"You think he's staying?" she asked, too shocked to say anything else.

"Of course," Elfman said, nodding his head. "Where else would he go?"

"Gee, I dunno, Elf. Try back to Mira's?"

"No way! He's my buddy. I love him." Elfman shook his head that time. "If he can't go in here, then he's going into our bedroom."

"He's going into the dump is where he's going."

"No! That is not a manly thing to do, Evergreen!"

In the end, it was decided that the statue would go in the guest bedroom. Along with a lot of his stuff as it turned out.

"It almost feels as if this is my own little bedroom," he joked weakly as Evergreen tossed some of his clothes in the closet in there. She only glanced back at him and gave him an odd stare. "Almost. Right? Evergreen?"

She only went back to putting things away. "You know, Elfman, I hardly ever have anyone use this room. And the bed's so large. If, I don't know, something ever happened where you just…had to leave our bedroom, I think this would be a better place for you than the couch."

"What sorts of things could possibly-"

"But why dwell on the future, hmmm? When the present is so much fun?"

"I'd really like to get back to me staying in here, honestly."

But they didn't. She quickly changed the topic of conversation back onto a more level discussion. Such as a list of things he was not allowed to do in the apartment.

"Uh, Ever? I really don't think I can control some of these."

"Really?" she asked, finding a seat on the couch as they took a break from moving him in for awhile. He only stood there, looking over the literal piece of paper she'd handing him. "Which numbers?"

"Nine and ten sound a little harsh."

"Refresh my memory."

"Uh, well, nine says no belching."

"Right."

"And ten says no farting."

"Both very good guidelines. I want you doing neither of them."

"Yeah, but…I'm a man."

"A man that isn't going to have bodily functions in this apartment."

He scratched at his head, looking over at her then. "Don't you, you know, ever burp? Or fa-"

"No, Elfman. I do not."

He blinked. "You sure? 'cause sometimes when we're in bed, I-"

"Elfman Strauss." She gave him a dark stare. "Do not make me-"

"And number twelve is just completely ludicrous. I cannot control, Evergreen, how often I poop."

"You should."

"What? Do you not do that either?"

"As far as you know, no."

She was beginning to aggravate him.

"It's completely unreasonable, Evergreen, to think that I'll be going to get pedicures with you."

"Yes, number five," she said, nodding her head. "It's a necessity if you're going to keep sleeping in bed with me."

"What-"

"Your toenails hurt, Elfman, when they rub up against my legs. I have scratch marks!"

"Pedicures aren't manly, Evergreen," he told her. "And you've never complained before."

"Because we weren't going to be sharing a bed most nights. Only when you'd sleepover. Now though-"

"What do you mean by most nights?"

She gave him a look. "Did you think your crap was going in the other room for no reason?"

"What-"

"I want you in there with me, Elfman, I really do," she assured him as she got to her feet. Coming over to pat him on the arm, she said, "You know that."

"I thought that, but now-"

"It's just…well, Elf, if you can't follow these simple rules here," she began, reaching out to tap the list, "then we just can't sleep next to one another. Understand?"

"Simple? There are forty eight rules here!"

"Yeah, I know. I had to narrow them down some."

Huh?

"Narrow them down?" he asked in shock. "From what?"

"Believe me," she said with a shake of her head. "You do not want to know."

"Evergreen, you can't be serious," he complained, glaring down at her then. She only stared back up at him with the most somber of expressions. "I can't hardly follow any of these rules. They go against everything that I stand for. In case you forgot, I'm a man!"

"A man that is living with a woman," she told him before taking to poking him in the chest. "That means that you follow her orders explicitly. Understood?"

"Men don't take orders."

"Men that want to sleep in the master bedroom do."

This took a lot longer to come to a truce on. In the end, it was decided that while most of the list was abolished, he knew not to do any of the 'bodily functions' listed in her presence or in a room that she would be in the vicinity of in a set amount of time. And yes, he would clip his toenails, but no, he would not be getting a pedicure.

Ever.

It just wasn't manly.

Once they had everything where it would go for the time being, Elfman went out and got them some takeout. They actually got through dinner without fighting once, which was groundbreaking. Elfman was feeling pretty great about it too, as it was a sure sign of them being destined to live together happily ever after. Ha!

…Until when the laid down that night, Elfman said something that offended her and Evergreen hit him below the belt by claiming that real men didn't upset their women. It only got worse from there. She started talking about how he didn't really love her and if he did, she wouldn't have practically had to force him to move in with her. And he said that he did it _because_ he loved her. Duh.

Then they were yelling and she kept giving him these long glares and, though she'd swore she never would, he was scared to death she'd turn him to stone or something.

So in short, he found that she was very much so right. The bed in the guest room was comfy.

"It's almost like being at home," he mused to himself softly as he found that the bed was, in fact, just big enough for him. Then, after a moment, he grinned and said, "That's because it is home."

And fine, it had only been a day. And yes, he had been kicked out of the bedroom. And yeah, alright, so it seemed like Evergreen might just resurrect that list. But hey. They were together. And happy. And he wasn't stone. So maybe it was a good day.

Maybe.

"Elfman?" he heard about an hour later as he laid on his back, trying hard to drift off. The door to the guest (his) bedroom was open and Evergreen was standing there in the darkness, staring in at him.

"Yeah?"

"Come to bed, idiot."

Then he was grinning, but she wouldn't join him which was okay seeing as she at least did take his hand when he got up and take him back to her room with her.

"If you fart though, it's over," she told him simply.

"Alright," he agreed. "But I think that qualifies as me being able to move my bird statue into here so-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Fine," he conceded. He was pretty well trained from their year and a half of dating that it was just better that way. There were very few battles worth the fight.

But when they laid down again, that time neither speaking, and she curled up to him, resting her head against his chest, he remembered why it was worth it.

It was all worth it.

"Elfman?"

"Hmmm?" He glanced down at her, but she didn't open his eyes again.

"Did you-"

"It just kinda-"

"Get out. Now." She rolled away, throwing a hand over her nose. "Seriously. Now."

With a sigh, he pushed up. "Fine. But don't take as long coming to get me this time. I was practically asleep, you know."

"Just go."

Worth it, he had to remind himself as he trudge on back to the guest room. Totally worth it.


End file.
